The Brahmavihāras Dispel Anger

The Blessed One said: this saṃsāra (the round of rebirth) has no beginning or end that can be discerned… A being who, in this long course of time, has never been one’s mother, father, brother, sister, son or daughter is not easy to find. Thus it was said.

(Mātu Sutta, Pitu Sutta, etc., Saṃyutta Nikāya, Nidāna Vagga)

Have you ever wondered why, sometimes, we feel resentful toward certain people from the very first time we see them, or feel drawn to certain people from the very first time we see them? We may once have loved each other deeply, or may once have harmed and killed each other. As lives pile upon lives and beings are veiled by delusion, we forget what happened in the past. But the perceptions bound up with craving, conceit and views, called papañca-saññā (proliferating perception), still remain. If we have never cleansed these feelings, when we meet again in this life we go on making kamma together without end: now lusting after each other, now resenting each other. Especially dosa (anger): although it is evil and unwholesome, we see value in it and think it important, because it is anger that gives us power. For instance, when someone won’t listen, we raise our voice a little. Our children obey us because of anger. We can govern many people because we have anger. It is anger that lets us control everyone.

So we are used to thoughts that make anger arise, and we keep feeding it. If you ask what feeds anger, in the monks’ language it is called āghātavatthu (grounds for resentment), and there are ten of them:

1. This person has harmed me.
2. This person is harming me.
3. This person will harm me.
4. This person has done damage to someone I love.
5. This person is doing damage to someone I love.
6. This person will do damage to someone I love.
7. This person has helped someone I hate.
8. This person is helping someone I hate.
9. This person will help someone I hate.
10. Resentment over all sorts of groundless things, such as: it shouldn’t have rained, the sun shouldn’t have come out, the traffic shouldn’t be jammed, it shouldn’t be so hot, the epidemic ought to be over, and so on.

Whenever we give our attention to things this way, anger arises, because we have never considered the harm of anger and never seen the value of mettā (loving-kindness), even though anger does so much harm: we sleep badly, wake badly, have bad dreams; the devas do not protect us; we are not dear to humans and not dear to non-humans; fire, weapons, poison and illness harm us; our face grows gloomy; concentration will not settle, which is to say we are restless; and after death we go to a bad destination. It is the opposite of the benefits of developing mettā: sleeping well, waking well, having no bad dreams, and so on.

The Buddha taught about mettā, because mettā exists specifically to cure the defilements in the group of anger.

“Monks, whenever you feel stress, anger or irritation of any kind, develop mettā: love, goodwill and kindly care.”

When the Buddha spoke of mettā, he was also speaking of karuṇā (compassion), muditā (sympathetic joy) and upekkhā (equanimity), because they are qualities that belong to the same group, the brahmavihāras (divine abidings).

The Four Brahmavihāras

Mettā is love, goodwill, kindly care. In practice, it means seeing the good points of others, for example seeing that this person’s bodily conduct is proper, their speech gentle, their mind calm.

Karuṇā is the wish to help others be free of suffering. When we see someone’s weak points, or see someone going through suffering, problems or hardship, we cannot bear it and wish them free of all suffering.

Muditā is rejoicing when others succeed in life, seeing someone happy and fulfilled, regardless of whether we gain anything from their success, and not limited by whether this person is our friend or our relative, but a genuine gladness, true muditā, at their success, happiness and fulfillment.

Upekkhā is looking on with equanimity, keeping the mind balanced when facing any problem in life, seeing with understanding that all beings have their kamma as their own property, understanding the truth of life and accepting it with wisdom. Praised, one is not carried away; blamed, one does not resent. Being even and balanced toward all beings, not favoring those we love, not pushing away those we dislike: this is the nature of upekkhā.

So the four brahmavihāras must be put to use in real life, and used to fit the situation. Mettā is for normal situations: love and goodwill toward one another. Karuṇā and muditā are for abnormal situations. Karuṇā is for when things go wrong on the way down: when we see someone getting worse, we must show the face of compassion and set about helping. Muditā is for abnormal situations on the way up: when we see someone succeed, we bring out the face of sympathetic joy. And upekkhā is for situations where we must protect the Dhamma, protect what is right.