Abhaya-dāna: The More You Give, the More Merit Grows

Forgiveness, or abhaya-dāna as we usually understand it, is when someone wrongs us, comes to apologize, and we forgive them, meaning we are not angry. But in a deeper sense, abhaya-dāna is the gift of freedom from danger, the gift of safety. That is why it is a name for sīla (virtue). It is a great gift (mahādāna), a giving that is harder to let go of, because it comes from a wholesome mind at the level of virtue.

Dāna (giving) means giving, letting go, sharing, with intention, the mind that thinks to give. There are three kinds of giving:

• Material giving (vatthu-dāna): the things one should give, such as shelter, food, clothing and medicine.
• Giving the Dhamma (dhamma-dāna): giving knowledge that is true, the truth.
• Giving safety (abhaya-dāna): giving freedom from danger, giving safety. Abhaya-dāna is a name for wholesome virtue.

Abhaya-dāna means making ourselves free of enmity and danger toward anyone: not harming anyone, not doing violence, giving safety to other beings’ lives, safety to other beings’ property, safety to their children and wife, all they love and cherish, safety in speech by not lying, not speaking divisively, harshly or idly, and giving freedom from suspicion by training mindfulness, wisdom and patience, making ourselves firm in virtue and undertaking it (samādāna, resolving to practice) steadfastly: from this day on, we will give up anger, greed and delusion as a gift, forgive, bear no grudge, cut ill will out of the stream of our life, and cultivate a mind of mettā, karuṇā, muditā and upekkhā (loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity), setting the mind firmly in wholesome states.

”Abhaya-dāna” and the “Four Brahmavihāras”

Forgiving is hard, because it is a matter of the heart. Abhaya-dāna means we must also have good feelings toward the other person, not resentful, not angry. To have good feelings toward them, we must use our well-trained wisdom to find their good points. When we can make mettā arise, when true love truly arises, we can settle the mind in patience and accept their faults.

If they have shortcomings and weak points of various kinds, we can set up a mind of compassion. Even if that person does us harm, we are not angry or resentful; we have compassion and pity for them, wishing that they meet good friends, good medicine, good doctors, a good environment, that they may not suffer, may not come to trouble, both now and in time to come. When we see them doing good, we do not envy them but share in their gladness with muditā, and we settle the mind in balanced upekkhā: all beings in the world have their own kamma as their own. If we see all beings as having once been our relatives, our father, mother, brothers and sisters, then mettā, karuṇā, muditā or upekkhā, the mind of the brahmavihāras (divine abidings), arises without difficulty.

”Uncaring Stillness” and “Seeing Stillness”

We must develop our way of thinking; wisdom must be clear, must investigate and discern. It is not living passively, doing nothing, not caring, “each to their own.” That is called moha (delusion), uncaring indifference, which is not the upekkhā of the brahmavihāras. The upekkhā of the brahmavihāras must be a stillness that looks on and understands causes, understands kamma and its results.

Why have we been angry with one another for so long? We meet some people we have never known, so why are we angry? It shows that we have been angry with one another for who knows how many lives. If we can see it this way, we must start training ourselves and resolve anew: from now on we will not be angry, will not bear malice or ill will toward anyone again.

An example of someone who bore malice and ill will until the stream of his life met with ruin is Devadatta, who bore malice and ill will toward the Buddha from the time the Buddha was a bodhisatta. Even in his last life he still made evil kamma: he harmed the Fully Self-Awakened Buddha and split the saṅgha (monastic community), an anantariya-kamma (the gravest kind of kamma), and he must receive its result in the Avīci great hell.

Look into your own heart: in this life, is there anyone toward whom you still hold a grudge, still bear malice and ill will? If there is, use strong mindfulness to bring that stream of life to mind, so that wisdom can go in and cleanse, and you see their good points. Make mettā, non-anger, arise. See that all streams of life are companions in birth, companions in ageing, companions in sickness, companions in death, all still wandering in saṃsāra (the round of rebirth), all hurt by the suffering of birth, the suffering of ageing, the suffering of sickness and the suffering of death, every one of us. We will not bear malice, not hold enmity, not hold grudges, not harm, not be a danger to anyone ever again.

From this day on, until we reach the end of suffering,
we will give safety to life,
we will give safety to property,
we will give safety to children and wives,
we will give true words and freedom from suspicion.
Having given material gifts, we will go on to give abhaya-dāna and dhamma-dāna without fail.